Brewing Beer In 17 Syllables

I have gone 10 blog posts without talking about me brewing beer.  That’s partially because I’ve recently had a hard time finding the necessary 5 hours to brew (thanks a lot, new baby!) and also because there are a zillion other places where you can read about brewing beer and it will be much more informative (but far less entertaining) than what I write here.  The deal is that homebrewing is as simple or as complicated as you want to make it.  There are some critical considerations (high quality ingredients, sanitization, temperature control, proper amount of yeast, a few others) that you need a firm grasp of to make your beer taste good.  Rather than bore you with the details of the process, here is how a brew day goes down in Haiku form:


Mill grain, add water,

drain wort, boil vigorously,

add hops, ferment, drink


-- Alternative Version --


Prep, clean, burn hand, wait

sanitize, lift heavy stuff

clean, wait, drink beer, clean


If this sounds like fun, you can get started for about $100.  If you like it, you will end up spending a ton more money, it will take over your life and you may start dreaming about opening a brewery.  The lesson is this : If you don’t want to open your own brewery, just buy beer.  It’s much cheaper that way.

Here is last night’s brew: 5 gallons of amber lager, based on the California Common style (I can’t call it by the well known “Steam Beer” name or else a large brewery in San Francisco will sue me).  A major difference between this beer and Anchor Steam is that I’m not using Northern Brewer hops, which is distinctive to the style.  My grain bill is primarily German malts, which is also unique and something I’m experimenting with.

Here are the geeky details that only a few of you will care about :

65% Pale Ale Malt

13% Dark Munich Malt

7% Caramunich II

5% Victory Malt

Hops - Liberty and Willamette

Yeast - Wyeast 2112

ABV - 5.2%, IBU - 32

The BrewToddler turned 3 on Monday, qualifying him to help stir the mash

The BrewToddler turned 3 on Monday, qualifying him to help stir the mash

This beer is being brewed for our Memorial Day block party, which I look forward to immensely.  It gives me an excuse to brew up 4 beers, grill meats and shoot the shit with friends and neighbors.  After Memorial Day I will do a post on this beer and the others I brew for the party, the reviews (Spoiler Alert : they will all be positive because it’s free beer and people rate free beer extremely high) and my own take on how the beers turned out.  I am highly critical of my beer, so expect me to talk some smack to myself.


Off to Colorado on Sunday for the Brewery Immersion Course!!!  YESSSS!!!!!